Some days it’s just about getting through til bedtime.
It’s not about making sure your child is ahead of the curve academically.
It’s not about carving out time for a romantic dinner with your spouse.
It’s about putting one foot in front of the other.
If you find too many days turning into grit-your-teeth-and-suck-it-up, though, maybe it’s time to ask yourself, and your spouse, some tough questions:
* Are we trying to do too much during the kid-raising years? Are we putting things on the schedule that don’t give back in terms of quality of life?
* Are we trying to please too many other people? Do we need to deal with a childish desire to make everyone happy?
* Are we working nonstop so that our kids can have more stuff? Would they benefit from more of their parents and fewer possessions?
* Have we made peace with the sacrifices we have had to make as parents? Have we made peace with the time limits, the tight budget, the scars on the furniture and the stains on the carpet?
We can get into a dry time where nothing is funny, nothing is fun … because we are not living up to our extravagant plans of what life as a family was going to be. Maybe it’s not what we are achieving that is off — maybe it was always those extravagant plans that were off.
It’s not really what happens with your spouse and your kids that gets you all happy inside —- it’s what you believe about it. You might need to examine what you believe a family is and what it should be.
Let me tell you a little secret. All those perfect families out there? They aren’t. Everybody hits a wall sometimes. That wall may come early or it may come late, but it comes for everybody.
Give yourself credit. Give your spouse and your kids credit. Notice what is going right and accept that sometimes everybody messes up. Make peace with parenthood!
ABOUT ME
I am Dr. Kimberly Thompson, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Lubbock, Texas. I work with mothers and their children to help them heal, grow, and live their most vibrant lives. My particular expertise is pregnant and postpartum women, and moms of “littles.” My book, Perfect Mothers Get Depressed, is available on Amazon and from Praeclarus Press. If you live within driving distance of Lubbock, you can work with me face-to-face; if you live anywhere else in the state of Texas, you can work with me via online therapy. Send me a message if you need more information, or call my office at (806) 224-0200 if you’re ready to book an appointment.
